Sage Khia Reviews Nicki Minaj’s Album

November 30, 2010 / Posted by:

Khia somehow found a way to rip Nicki Minaj’s album off of Rapidshare and then it burn it onto a CD from one of Kinko’s pay-by-the-hour computers AND THANK EVERYTHING SHE DID! When Khia gives one of her priceless sermons in front of the abandoned train tracks behind a Safeway, you better show up and be ready to get healed.

On her blog, the always prolific Khia delivered a track-by-track review of Nicki’s album and sang out insightful quote after insightful quote! Quotes that need to be printed on a sticker and slapped on Nicki’s album when it gets re-issued. I mean:

“It smells WORSER than the gas that’s coming out of my ASS, from all of the Turkey that I ate over the Thanksgiving weekend.” – gold-selling recording artist KHIA!

“Her breast looked suculant, but I wouldn’t suck them wit Latifah’s lips! Shout out to the stylists and photographers who done a spectacular job, airbrushing and styling this “Dungeon Dragon” because we all know that this “Lint-Lizard” doesn’t look like this in person.” – Sunglasses aficionado KHIA!

Why doesn’t Khia have her own music column at Rolling Stone, The New York Times, the PennySaver, Street Wise, Real Change, Craigslist, etc..etc…? But enough of me, here’s a little more of Khia trying to burn the ends of Nicki’s wig with a half-used fireplace match (you can read the whole review here):

Track 3: Did It On’Em
What did you do? Because it’s obvious that you will not sell any RECORDS, don’t get too “COMFY” over there at Cash Money Records Sweeeeetie because if they DROPPED Teena Marie, they are going to be SWEEPING your ASS out the DOOR pretty soon! I Thank my husband for DROPPING Lil Mo becuase her LIPS weighed more than her ALBUM sales and needed to be picked UP from draaaaaaaging the floor! Every night me and my husband Weezy still fight about him letting Teena Marie go!

Track 4: Right Thru Me
We see right past your dumb ass! See through you, walk over you, step on you, so tired of you! I know it won’t be long before I hear about you in the PAPER! I smell a nervous BREAK DOWN coming on…..You’re not BUILT for this!

Track 6: Save Me
I just told yall to SAVE this bitch…….She is DROWNING, FALLEN and can’t GET Up! Don’t give up though, keep swimming……… Hopefully, you will be able to keep Hope alive for all of lil girls that’s drowning! Seems like, Willow Smith and Justin Bieber should have been featured on the album, because the chilren are the only ones who are pleased with the works of this tired ass album. Wrist full of colorful rubberbands!

Track 8: Check It Out
Check what out? The best thing on this track is the “Feature” WIL-I-AM…… I can’t believe I wasted my $13.99 on this BULL SHIT, I told yall that it aint no damn Barbies in the hood! I can’t wait for Matel to sue this bitch for all of the $3.60 that she earned! When is this bitch gonna learn that they stealing all of the money?

Track 9: Blazin
The only thing that’s “Blazin” is Onika’s pussy! Yeah fellas, it’s burning……Flaming Hot! Bitches will do anything for a record deal! Onika, look in the mirror! Are you pleased with yourself? We seen the BEFORE, it would have been better if you came out AFTER all of the surgery!

Track 11: Dear Old Nicki
RIP…….Case closed and casket DROPPED!

WRIST FULL OF COLORFUL RUBBER BANDS! Now you know how Jesus’ disciples felt that day on the plain, right? Where is the Khia Finch version of The Bible?!

But seriously, Nicki Minaj is probably like, “Who?!

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