Johnny Depp On St. Angie And Playing A Gay Pirate

November 30, 2010 / Posted by:

Mickey Mouse gives Miley Cyrus a slow clap every time she pops her crotch like her clit’s a paddle ball champion, but yet he sticks his gloves in his ear holes and scurries from the room if he hears that one of his creations is GAY!

In an interview with the one and only Patti Smith for Vanity Fair, Johnny Depp says that the Disney executives threw holy water and hissed at his portrayal of Jack Sparrow in Pirates of the Caribbean. Johnny says that Michael Eisner wanted to know if Jack Sparrow’s tongue regularly slid along the crotch plank of another pirate. Johnny basically disguised a giant FUCK U with his response, “And so I actually told this woman who was the Disney-ite… ‘But didn’t you know that all my characters are gay?’ Which really made her nervous.

It probably made her nervous in an “I might cream my chonies right here” kind of way, because who wouldn’t want to see Jack Sparrow in a gay porn version of POTC called Pirates of the Caripenis?

Here’s the full story on that foolery plus a few quotes about St. Angie:

Johnny on Disney’s gay phobia: “They couldn’t stand him. They just couldn’t stand him. I think it was Michael Eisner, the head of Disney at the time, who was quoted as saying, ‘He’s ruining the movie.’ Upper-echelon Disney-ites, going, What’s wrong with him? Is he, you know, like some kind of weird simpleton? Is he drunk? By the way, is he gay?… And so I actually told this woman who was the Disney-ite… ‘But didn’t you know that all my characters are gay?’ Which really made her nervous.”

Johnny on playing Hamlet one day: “[Marlon Brando said,] Why don’t you just take a year and go and study Shakespeare, or go and study Hamlet. Go and work on Hamlet and play that part. Play that part before you’re too old…. So what he was trying to tell me was: play that fucking part, man. Play that part before you’re too long in the tooth. Play it. And I would like to. I’d really, really like to.”

Johnny on the paps always being on St. Angie’s ass: “Poor thing, dogged by paparazzi, her and her husband, Brad…all their kids. There are times when you see how ridiculous is this life, how ludicrous it is, you know, leaving your house every morning and being followed by paparazzi. [We’d have] to hide, sometimes not even being able to talk to each other in public because someone will take a photograph and it will be misconstrued and turned into some other shit.”

Johnny on how St. Angie’s got some Elizabeth Taylor in her: “I’ve had the honor and the pleasure and gift of having known Elizabeth Taylor for a number of years. You know, you sit down with her, she slings hash, she sits there and cusses like a sailor, and she’s hilarious. Angie’s got the same kind of thing, you know, the same approach.”

St. Angie as the next generation Elizabeth Taylor?! Johnny better wash his tongue out with White Diamonds bar soap! As if St. Angie could ever deliver the iconic line “NotsofastTomRyan” with grace and conviction like Elizabeth Taylor! St. Angie would probably fuck Tom Ryan right there and snatch him away from his happy wife! Err. Dame Liz did that too, you say? Okay, nevermind.

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