File this under: Paulina Rubio and Alicia Machado make me feel smart, which until now I thought was an impossible task.
Shortly after North Korea attacked South Korea, former Miss Universe Alicia Machado asked her Twitter followers to join hands to say a prayer for THE CHINAS. THE CHINAS. THE CHINAS!!!!
“Tonight I want to ask you to join me in a prayer for peace, that these attacks between the Chinas do not make our situation worse.”
Alicia didn’t like some of her followers throwing DUNCE CAPS at her, so she put a giant CLOSED sign on her Twitter account and quit that bitch. The fuckery didn’t end there. Paulina Rubio picked up one of those Dunce Caps, put it on her head and defended Alicia with this priceless mind queef:
“Déjenla en paz todos los japoneses se parecen y China es muy grande”.
Translation (via ONTD): “Leave Alicia alone. All Japanese people look the same and China is a very big country”.
When did the Japanese join the party?! What is Paulina even going on about?! Can somebody clap near Paulina and Alicia’s heads to turn the damn lights on.
Paulina quickly deleted that Tweet after getting shit thrown at her. And it’s still not over. Alicia tried to clarify her “THE CHINAS” statement to Univision, but it didn’t help.
“No me equivoqué, yo no cometí ningún error, lo que hice fue pedir una oración de muy buena fe por todo el conflicto que se está suscitando en Asia. Lo que pasa es que lo dije de una manera muy coloquial y fue malinterpretado. Obviamente, sé que hay un bombardeo entre Corea del Norte y Corea del Sur. Cuando digo ‘las Chinas’. Ay, mira al gringo’, y resulta que es canadiense. De repente, le dices chino a todo el que ves que es asiático… A eso me refería”.
VERY roughly translated (via ONTD and Google Translator): “I was not wrong, I do not make any mistakes. What I did was ask a prayer of good faith for the conflict that is happening in Asia. I said it in a very informal way and was misinterpreted. Obviously, I know there is conflict between North Korea and South Korea. It was just a funny way to refer to the entire Asian continent. Like when we say ‘Look at that Gringo’ and turns out that he’s Canadian. We call Chinese to everyone who looks Asian. That’s what I meant.”
There’s really no need for me to kick at them, because they’ve pretty much kicked their own asses.
Reading that entire dumbass skid mark has given me the confidence to try to conquer things I never thought I could conquer before. You know, like a 12-piece jigsaw puzzle or the crossword puzzle in Star Magazine.