Since Charo’s cuchi cuchi thrusts are way too hot for primetime and the producers of the Academy Awards can’t afford to pay for the booze on Betty White’s rider, they have pulled two random names out of the Oscar statute’s ass and have asked them to host next year’s show.
Deadline Hollywood says that James Franco, who will probably be nominated for 127 Hours, and Anne Hathaway, who will probably be nominated for a Razzie for Love and Other Drugs or Valentine’s Day, will host the Oscars together next year!!! BRAND NEW DRINKING GAME! Every time a song bursts out of Anne Hathaway’s mouth, do a shot! And every time James Franco jokes about being a stoner, do a pot brownie shot! This is a win! Here’s the official statement from the producers:
“James Franco and Anne Hathaway personify the next generation of Hollywood icons— fresh, exciting and multi-talented. We hope to create an Oscar broadcast that will both showcase their incredible talents and entertain the world on February 27. We are completely thrilled that James and Anne will be joining forces with our brilliant creative team to do just that.”
At first I was like “HUH!?“, but then I remembered James Franco saying that he can’t keep his hands off his dick. The Oscars are about 127 hours long (give or take a few days), so that means we’ll most likely get at least a dozen shots of James’ hand hugging his peen. And his nutsack better wear a bow tie. It’s the OSCARS! Have some fucking decorum, please!