And All Of Heidi Fleiss’ Birds Are Alive!

November 28, 2010 / Posted by:

You might have forgotten about his after waking up from your tryptophan and Jell-O shots induced coma on the floor of your parents’ kitchen with an empty pie tin on your crotch and your left hand in a bag of raw Stove Top (raw Stove Top is the best shit), so let’s go over it again. Heidi Fleiss’ house caught on fire (not a euphemism) on Thanksgiving morning and it was not known at the time if all of her bird friends made it out alive. Heidi confirms to TMZ that the only bird that got charbroiled that day was her frozen grocery store turkey. All of Heidi’s birds are now safe and sound.

Heidi says that the fire caused more than $60,000 worth of damages including her guest house, a bunch of clothes and a Tempur-Pedic mattress.

Hmm. Why would I not be surprised if Heidi Fleiss opened up a bird brothel to pay for all of that shit? You know, she would be on to something if she did, because my abuelita and my grandma both had a bunch of birds that always got heated in the loins at all hours of the day. BIRDS ARE SLUTS!

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