Would You Hit It?

November 27, 2010 / Posted by:

Donny Deutsch looks like the type of asshole douchebag who stands in front of a full length mirror in his marble and chrome bathroom and slowly shaves his nut bush while whispering out self-affirmations like “Daddy Donny is going to grab the world by her waist today and thrust until she can’t take it” and “Daddy Donny is going to make everybody wet today.” Normally, that kind of assholian behavior would set my nipples on fire, but I can’t with Donny.

And some of that has to do with Kathie Lee Gifford busting into a full body orgasm every time Donny’s on the Today show. You can practically see the steam rising from her down low area whenever Donny strolls on the set. Kathie Lee is like a piping hot tea kettle around Donny. No thank you.

Mark this day in history as the one time I’ve answered NOT TODAY. NOT EVER to a “Would you hit it?” Have I actually developed standards in my old age?! Ugh. I need to work on that. Blame the neon orange laces.

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