Jennifer Aniston Got Herself A Sexy Thanksgiving Piece (Not Really)

November 26, 2010 / Posted by:

This year, Jennifer Aniston did not spend her Thanksgiving bawling out an ocean of lonely tears that could carry the Mayflower back to America. And she didn’t gorge herself on three Hungry Man turkey meals and a pint of pumpkin pie ice cream while her Beanie Baby collection (dressed in pilgrim outfits made from yarn) watched. No, this year Jennifer Aniston joined Grey Goose’s favorite beej giver Chelsea Handler down in Los Cabos, Mexico! No llorando for Aniston!

And Aniston got a littler closer to what the paps called a “mysterious and dark haired hunk”. The only mystery surrounding this dude is if he uses pina colada or raspberry scented lube to give his boyfriend an early morning handjob. I mean, really…

Just because Jennifer is hugging on a dude, doesn’t mean she’s sticking her hard nips in his mouth hole later! Jennifer’s Malan-alike friend is obviously just giving her a consoling “It’s okay, I don’t think Christopher Columbus had a man on Thanksgiving either” hug. He’s not smiling because he can’t wait to stick the tip in later, he’s smiling because her hair smells like delicious Strawberry Suave shampoo. Most of my gay friends looooooved Strawberry Suave shampoo as a child and still do. I use it as bubble bath and sometimes when my tub of Wet goes empty, I dab a dollop on my… Okay, I’m stopping!

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