BEHOLD, The New Temple Of Saint Angie

The front of the temple at Ta Prohm in Cambodia looks like it’s covered in the same veins that wrap around the claws St. Angie Jo uses to hold down the virgins she’s about to feed from, so it’s only fitting that they refer to is as the Angelina Jolie Temple from now on. The Guardian had this to say about this made-up ridiculousness:

Angelina Jolie may not have charmed all the locals at her most recent filming location but the people of Cambodia, where she shot Lara Croft: Tomb Raider in 2000, are said to have renamed a temple after her.

Rajan Zed, the president of the Universal Society of Hinduism, told the WENN news agency that the star is so beloved in Cambodia a world-famous Hindu religious site in Angkor has been renamed the “Angelina Jolie Temple”.

“It’s a 12th-century site called Ta Prohm; it is otherwise known as Old Brahma and was initially named Rajavihara or the royal monastery,” he said. “Now it’s popularly called the Angelina Jolie Temple.”

Just like that, a thousand hardcore Brangeloonies just jumped from the Brangeloonie shrine set up next to their dryer in the basement and ran to call Spirit Air (the official airline of Brangeloonies) to book the next flight to Cambodia! Sorry, children of Brangeloonies, Christmas is canceled this year. In fact, there’s a good chance that your Brangeloonie of a mother is going to try to sell you on eBay to raise money for her trip to the HOLY LAND! Maybe Jennifer Aniston will pull a BUY IT NOW for your ass. Now that’ll be some shit.

But in all seriousness, Cambodia’s tourism board is crazy for this one! They are crazy because if anybody deserves a place of worship over there it’s MADDOX! They better get their facts straight and try again.

(Thanks to all who sent this in)