Raise Your Glass Of Sparking Barley Water!

November 24, 2010 / Posted by:

John Travolta has thrown a baby-proof lacefront on his head this morning, because he’s a father to a newborn baby all over again! While surrounded by giant “L.Ro Commands You To SHHH!” signs, Kelly Preston silently removed the velcro from her pillow bump and the surrogate quietly tiptoed into the room to hand over her new BABY BOY!!!! And as she mimed the words “coo” into her new baby’s face, John’s friends at the bath houses passed around blue cigars (no comment on what they did with those cigars). But in all seriousness, John and Kelly confirms to People that she birthed out the new baby prince of Scientology:

John Travolta and wife Kelly Preston are parents to son Benjamin, who was born Tuesday in a Florida hospital.

The baby weighed 8 lbs., 3 oz.

“John, Kelly and their daughter Ella Bleu are ecstatic and very happy about the newest member of the family,” they say in a statement. “Both mother and baby are healthy and doing beautifully.”

YAY for John. YAY for Kelly. But a special Xenu YAY for Suri, because now she has a new arraigned friend to smoke barley joints with in the back of the Scientology center in 15 years.

Our commenting rules are pretty simple: If you make any overly offensive comment (racist, bigoted, etc..) or go way off topic when not in an Open Post, your comments will be deleted and you will be banned. If you see an offensive or spammy comment you think should be deleted, flag it for the mods and they'll be forever grateful and give you their first born (although, you probably don't want that).

alt="drupal analytics" >