Before I accept my lifetime achievement MS Paint Award for the intricate and realistic work above, let’s talk about Amy Wino’s brand new forever island friend. We already know that wherever Wino goes, she ends up bonding with the local creatures. When she was in St. Lucia a while ago, she became yard mother to a pack of dogs. When she lived in Camden, the crack-addicted roaches and mice regularly did up her crackhive for her Cinderella-style before she stumbled out every night. And now that she’s spending time in Barbados, she has become friends with one of the monkeys. As Fark would say, The Sun is there:
A source said: “Amy has made friends with a monkey. It came up to her and she fed it and it’s been following her around.
“She’s been telling friends how much she loves it and would love to bring it back with her.”
I would make a joke about how the monkey just thinks Wino is its long-lost biological mother, but that primate ho is smarter than that. It’s just sniffing on Wino because it knows she’s got the good shit. And I hate HATE hate Google right now. Somebody connect me to their complaint department! While doing photo research for this future Pulitzer Prize winning story, I Googled “woman and monkey” and (NSFL) this came up first. The look on the monkey’s face says “I don’t need this shit right now” and I co-sign that!