It’s That Time Of Year Again, Part 2!

November 22, 2010 / Posted by:

On Friday, The Mighty Oprah aired the first part of her Favorite Things and we all watched as the internal organs of her audience members quickly liquefied due to over-excitement. Yeah, most of them permanently lost their ability to hold their pee, but who needs to pee when you’ve got a 3D TEEEVEEEEEEEEE! Since Oprah gets a sick thrill from prematurely inducing coronaries, she gave away even more free shit to a totally different audience in the second part of her Favorite Things episode which aired today.

When Oprah announced her final Favorite Thing of all-time, I’m 100% sure that at least a few audience members died on the floor, floated off to heaven and looked into the sea-blue eyes of Jesus who told their asses to get back down there because his boss is about to give them a 2012 VW BEETLE!!!!! Yes, Oprah gave out a car that isn’t even out yet (it looks like this, by the way).

But how are they going to sit in the driver’s seat of a new Beetle if their ass cheeks fell off and/or exploded when Oprah gave them the news?! Oprah should really give them a new pair of ass cheeks, TAX FREE!

Our commenting rules are pretty simple: If you make any overly offensive comment (racist, bigoted, etc..) or go way off topic when not in an Open Post, your comments will be deleted and you will be banned. If you see an offensive or spammy comment you think should be deleted, flag it for the mods and they'll be forever grateful and give you their first born (although, you probably don't want that).

alt="drupal analytics" >