Chicken Cutlets And The Amazing Technicolor Nightmaredress

November 22, 2010 / Posted by:

Phoebe Price is an international supermodel who has toplined the most prestigious food court fashion shows in Perris and has graced the cover of a dozen fashion magazines published by a Knott’s Berry Farm photo booth, so I really shouldn’t question her style choices, but what in the name of the coat of many colors does she have on her truly exquisite body?!

Did a two-headed crow attack her in the head which caused her to fall and get tangled up in the backyard clothesline of a lady who holds the Guinness World Record for the largest collection of fugly ass bedspreads? PP is a goddess molded from a mound of ground chipolte chicken, and that dress is not worthy of her beauty.

With all that being said, Chicken Cutlets was still the best dressed at last night’s American Mess Awards. I mean, look at her competition:

Ke$ha – Bitch’s dress looks the inside of my broke Boom Box after it chewed on and warped one of my Alice Cooper tapes. No points for those stud brows.
Nicki Minaj – Is she wearing the skeleton of one RPattz’s golden unicorns? This is not a total fail since her hair is looking like a yellow & green Jello parfait.
The Smiths sans Will – Have the Smith family recently checked the batteries on their carbon monoxide detectors, because that’s the only reasonable explanation for this kind of foolery.
RiRi – An extra clotty tampon comes to mind….
Taylor Swift or Kat Stacks?
Johnny Weir – His beauty is almost on par with Phoebe’s so there’s no shade to throw.
Will.I.Cant – Really, I can’t anymore.
The dude from Train – When he performed last night, his pants sparkled like Edward Cullen’s peen under a spotlight.

Actually, since I put it that way the dude from Train gets best dressed. PP is a close second!

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