Teri Hatcher Is Quitting Desperate Housewives

November 21, 2010 / Posted by:

The Daily Mail says that Teri Hatcher has turned in her resignation letter to the Desperate Housewives producers, and that Felicity Huffman is following her towards the exit door. There’s rumors that Marc Cherry, DH’s founding house queen, will close the curtain after the show’s 8th season, but now it might end early due to Teri and Felicity giving their final bowels (typo and it stays) early.

A source-type (aka Nicollette Sheridan with a pillow over the phone) says that Teri already has a new TV pilot lined up and wants to focus all her time on that, “She has another production deal in the pipeline and she is in the early stages of developing a sitcom that she wants to start work on immediately after she finishes Desperate Housewives – she wants a new show in time for the mid-January pilot season. Some of the crew are disappointed in Teri, they feel like she is abandoning the show that revived her career. Desperate Housewives can’t really continue without Teri or Felicity because they need the original stars to pull in the ratings.”

ABC didn’t have shit to say about this.

You know, it’s time for Snatchers to get back on the highway and move on, but she should really take a break from TV. Snatchers should instead pursue her true calling: working as a web cam ho by day and a graveyard shift titty shaker by night. Seriously! For the past couple of seasons, Teri’s character has been putting Wonder Bread on her family table by doing professional ho shit. And I don’t know how many talk shows I’ve seen where Teri shows off her stripper moves for the audience. Bitch loves it. So Teri should slip on her favorite g-string and pop that pussy proudly now that nothing’s holding her back!

And since Eva Longoria will have time on her hands, she can work on a remake of the art house classic Over Her Dead Body.

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