Great News For Man Whores!

Peen peddlers who always play it safe can jump up and do the official JESUS DANCE, because when you shuffle up to the Catholic gate in Heaven and swipe your key card, a pair of red leather Prada slippers will fall at your feet and you’ll be welcomed in! In the past, the Catholic Church has usually hissed and made the sign of the cross at Trojans, but in his new book Pope Eggs Benedict says that dick gloves are okay in some cases. From the Chicago Tribune:

Pope Benedict XVI says in a new book that condoms can be justified for male prostitutes seeking to stop the spread of HIV, a stunning comment for a church criticized for its opposition to condoms and for a pontiff who has blamed them for making the AIDS crisis worse.

The pope made the comments in a book-length interview with a German journalist, “Light of the World: The Pope, the Church and the Signs of the Times,” which is being released Tuesday. The Vatican newspaper ran excerpts on Saturday.

Benedict said that condoms are not a moral solution. But he said in some cases, such as for male prostitutes, they could be justified “in the intention of reducing the risk of infection.” Benedict called it “a first step in a movement toward a different way, a more human way of living sexuality.”

I’m a big whore, so I’ve got that part down. Now I just have to work on getting my pieces to cough up a few coins so I can officially register as a “male prostitute” up in Heaven’s admission office. Otherwise, I’ll be sitting with my slutty lady friends on the ferry (sponsored by CROCS) to HELL!!!