Just a few days after Elvis incarnate Steven Cowan was thrown behind bars for kissing his TV screen with a silver bullet over Bristol Palin’s dancing skills, another act of terrorism has been committed against Mama Grizzly’s cub. Only this attack smelled like a baby’s ass crack. Dancing with the Stars almost became DANCING WITH ANTHRAX last night when a staff member opened up a hate letter addressed to Bristol Palin that contained a mysterious white powder in it.
Now, if The Hoff was still around, he couldn’t snorted it up and accurately named what it was and what chemicals it contained. The Hoff is a one man lab. But since he was prematurely kicked off the show, they had to bring in the FBI and the LAPD. The FBI evacuated the studio and production offices while they tried to figure out if the white powder was more toxic than the shit the dancers smear all over their bodies.
After initial testing, the FBI tells TMZ that the mysterious white substance of death turned out to be nothing but talcum powder. WILLOW, how could you steal talcum powder from Trig to drop into an orchestrated hate letter that will garner sympathy from the public and get more votes for Bristol?! Use doughnut dust next time.
But seriously, some hos need to sit down with themselves and reevaluate their life choices. I mean, murdering TVs and wasting talcum powder over a stupid dancing reality show and Bristol Palin? It’s not like it’s RuPaul’s Drag Race! Now that’s some shit to bring the rage over!