Ashley Olsen Can Barely Carry Her Own Sacrifice

November 20, 2010 / Posted by:

That is the terrified face of a dog who knows he’s only hours away from being chained up to a wooden slab under a lightning-filled sky so that the Olsens and their fellow vampire trolls can repeatedly chant “You got it dood” in between nibbling and spitting out pieces of his soul (never swallow…even souls have calories) to make themselves STRONGER!

Before boarding a flight to Voldemort’s castle, Ashley Olsen, who weighs about as much as Kimmy Gibler’s scrunchie, summoned the dark evil powers within to give her the strength to carry a fat dog through LAX last night. Hopefully, the poor dog was able to get away when Ashley got into a fight with a TSA officer over a vial of blood they wouldn’t let her bring onto the plane. Waddle, doggy, waddle!!!!

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