Reese Witherspoon Has It Hard

November 19, 2010 / Posted by:

While you were making a paper clip necklace under fluorescent lights in your office cubicle yesterday, Reese Witherspoon was getting tied up with rope by Tom Hardy (grabbing onto his giant gun) and Chris Pine on the set of their movie This Means War in Vancouver. WHAT A WASTE. Think of all the nasty dirty filthy thoughts that could been produced from this moment. But no, that didn’t happen. Reese has a miniature Pollyanna mouse sitting at a tiny desk in her brain who types out all of her G-rated thoughts, so there’s no way she orgasmed in the brains about being the meat in a Hardy/Pine peenini.

She’s probably thinking to herself: “Hmmm. I wonder if I took that chicken out of the freezer drawer for dinner. Hmmm….” or “I should really ask the handyman to re-grout the tile in the downstairs powder room” or “Oh, look at that pretty bird sitting on that dainty tree branch. The inspiration for my next tea kettle cozy project has been found! Can’t wait for knitting circle on Saturday night!” Some bitches….

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