Chupa Is With Child!

November 17, 2010 / Posted by:

As a shiver sweeps through every creature in the desert, a smile has washed over the faces of the makers of baby fur vests and snakeskin onesies, because Rachel “Chupacabra” Zoe has officially confirmed the rumor that there’s an actual living and breathing thing hanging out in her uterus, cervix, and fallopian tube. Well, Chupa has the Micro Machine of ladyparts down there so the baby has to spread his shit out. Things are going to get really weird in a few weeks when her baby starts to grow bigger and demands more room!

Chupa’s going to be sitting on the commode taking a piss and out will come a baby hand waving at her face. I guess she can give the baby hand a sheet of toilet paper so it can make itself useful by wiping down there for her. Anyway, this is what Chupa had to say on Twitter:

Hey everyone! I want to officially confirm to my loyal friends and followers that I am pregnant!…
about 3 hours ago via web

I feel great, Rodger and I are beyond excited and so thankful for all of your love and support. xoRZ & RB
about 3 hours ago via web

That picture of Chupa and her lesbian lover was taken only a few days ago and I don’t think her fresh alien face is from a date with Botox. Her nerves are just SHOCKED and STARTLED that protein and nourishment is actually entering her system. I mean, up until a few OBGYN visits ago she had no idea that a banana is something you actually eat. That’s truly bananas.

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