Prince William and Kate Middleton are engaged to be married, for real this time! And please tell me Prince Hot Ginge is going to be ring bearer. And please PLEASE please lie to me and tell me that he’s showing us in that picture above how he’s going to carry the ring down the aisle.
Somewhere down in the bowels of Buckingham Palace, a team of mice are hard at work at making a delicate satin peen pillow for Prince Hot Ginge to carry the ring on. This is all I care about.
So yeah, in case you couldn’t tell from the wails of your sisters and cousins screaming about how they were supposed to be princess, the royal family has pulled out their feather pen and wrote a wedding announcement on the linen scroll they’ve been keeping for this occasion. HEAR YE! HEAR YE! Release the doves (or the pigeons in dove suits since the entire world is in a recession)!!!!
The Prince of Wales is delighted to announce the engagement of Prince William to Miss Catherine Middleton.
The wedding will take place in the Spring or Summer of 2011, in London. Further details about the wedding day will be announced in due course.
Prince William and Miss Middleton became engaged in October during a private holiday in Kenya. Prince William has informed The Queen and other close members of his family. Prince William has also sought the permission of Miss Middleton’s father.
Following the marriage, the couple will live in north Wales, where Prince William will continue to serve with the Royal Air Force.
After 9 long years of polishing the royal jewels and slowly crawling towards the crown, Kate Middleton has done it! Gold diggers of the world slip on your white gloves and gracefully clap for Kate. THE CROWN DIGGER IS VICTORIOUS!
And while you’re clapping, please say a small prayer that Prince Hot Ginge holds a worldwide competition to be his +1 at the wedding. Add in your prayer that the contest rules state: 1) Must be able to snort vodka without gagging (I’ve been practicing). 2) Must have a tongue that won’t jump for safety when a river of sexy lava comes at it (again, I’ve been practicing). 3) Must wear an elegant ensemble fit for a royal event (again again, I’ve got this).
This is sooo my GOLDEN TICKET!