Thanks to James Blunt, high school students of the world don’t have to snort low-grade speed and freebase Amp to stay up all night to cram for a test on ANOTHER World War. You see, James Mustsmokealotofblunts says that he stopped World War 3 from happening by refusing to attack Russian troops while serving the British army in Kosovo!!!! Yup, someone has been taking extra bong hits while playing Call of Duty on Xbox Live.
James told the story to BBC Radio 5Live (via Digital Spy) while promoting his new album.
“I was given the direct command to overpower the 200 or so Russians who were there. The direct command [that] came in from General Wesley Clark was to overpower them. And if we had a foothold there then it would make life much easier for the NATO forces in Pristina. So there was a political reason to take hold of this. And the practical consequences of that political reason would be then aggression against the Russians.”
When they asked James of he thinks taking the order would’ve ignited the start of WORLD WAR 3, his ass said this shit with a straight face: “Absolutely. And that’s why we were querying our instruction from an American general. Fortunately, up on the radio came General Mike Jackson, whose exact words at the time were, ‘I’m not going to have my soldiers be responsible for starting World War 3’.”
I hate to disagree with a war hero, but General Michael Jackson’s exact words at the time were, “I’m not going to have my soldiers be responsible for starting World War 3, EEEEEEEEE HEEEEEEE!”
And James Blunt might have stopped the world from getting bombed, but his ass went on to throw a giant bomb of destruction into our ear trenches.