Mad Mel Is The Shakespeare Of Our Time

November 13, 2010 / Posted by:

TMZ (aka Sugar Tits Ground Zero) posted a few truly poetic personal love notes Mel Gibson slipped to Oksana Grigorieva while they were together and this mess makes me want to chew on some grass and vom into a jacuzzi. No, but seriously Mel has proven that he can not only string together words of Nazi poetry while raging into a trick’s voicemail, but he can also pour out words of romance that can be used as an effective barf inducer when Cisco Adler’s nekkid picture isn’t accessible.

TMZ says that OctoSana submitted the notes to the court, because she submits EVERYTHING to the court. Next up will be the skidmark in the shape of Hitler’s side profile on Mel’s chonies.

In the meantime, here’s a few bubbles queefed out of Mel’s heart:

“There are legions of angels kissing u as u work. And me too.”

“This is your capitalist pig landing his jet in Minnesota 4 customs! I have scarcely thought of anything but u since I left London! That is wonderful + sad because you are not near me! I need my little Russian to fill my soul.”

“If u r up call me my dark eyed beautiful little communist! I miss u + by God, I love you”

“Hi my snuffling puppy, practice! Practice! Practice! Today is good 4 matinee theater. Me find some! Ugh! Just letting u know I am yours at your beck + call. Please do so at your whim. This is heaven. Have decided to take your pants to a show. Wish u were in them.”

“Smoocherinos all over you!”

You know, I shouldn’t even laugh because this mess is identical to the comments I leave on CNN’s feedback form for Mah Boo Anderson Cooper. And here I was patting myself on the taint for coming up with “smoocherinos“.

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