Now we know the story behind those pictures of Michael Lohan staring into the tunnel to Bogota the other day. Radar says that Lindsay Lohan got her teefs worked and even shook her head NO when the dentist offered her those delicious pills that hug the pain away and make you feel like you’re spooning with a fluffy polar bear made of clouds. The Blohan of the old days (and by “old days” I mean like 3 weeks ago) would’ve asked the dentist to Super-Size that order to avoid buying her shit from White Oprah at a 200% markup, but the new LiLo wants to keep her seat on the wagon. Uh huh.
Radar’s source explains, “Lindsay had tooth surgery this week. She had teeth removed and won’t even take any painkillers for the pain. Lindsay is so dedicated to the rehabilitation of her substance abuse problems she’s doing everything she can to stay on track. She’s taking her time at Betty Ford very seriously.”
Who needs Vicodin when you’ve got a pot of Shake and Bake meth hiding in your closet. But seriously, LiLo is stronger than me because if the dentist so much as fires up a drill near my face, I demand a messy Novocaine thrust to my gums before we proceed any further.
No wonder LiLo and her ex-father are spending time together again. Since ho has ALLEGEDLY stopped medicating herself, she relieves the pain in her mouth by punching Michael Lohan in the face. It’s therapeutic in so many ways! You should ask your dentist for the same prescription.
Here’s LiLo getting her daily dose of photo-op yesterday afternoon.