I swear, Lil Wayne gets a paternity request as often as I get an anonymous e-card from inSPOT. Whoops, I got another in my inbox. And whoops, Lil Wayne’s got another one in his inbox too. Yes, another one. Even Maury is through with Lil Wayne’s gremlin sperm attacking ovaries and he no longer has the voice to narrate Weezy’s paternity results.
A woman in Missouri claims that every time she stares into her 8-year-old grandchild’s face, “Magic Dance” from Labyrinth plays in her head and this could only mean one thing: the kid is related to Lil Wayne! TMZ reports that while Lil Wayne was making soap bar art at Rikers, he was served with a court order forcing him to submit a DNA sample before December 9th. The legal papers state that the woman has reason to believe that Lil Wayne knocked up her daughter 8 years ago. The daughter’s name isn’t anywhere on the court papers and TMZ doesn’t know why this is so.
If the DNA results prove that Lil Wayne’s the father, the kid will be his fifth…that his ass knows of.
Weezy and all his baby mamas must be looking to spawn. I mean, everybody knows that if you’re going to mess with Weezy like that, you not only have to put a condom over your head to blur the intensity of his face, but you also have to put a condom over every inch of your body! Weezy’s all-powerful goblin chowder can seep through your pores and travel to your ovaries. You don’t play with that. Dude seriously has bionic bunny sperm.