Charlie Sheen wants everyone to stop taking a hot air pump to “that night at The
Waldorf Plaza” and blowing it up! So a coked up Charlie put the fear in a pay-for-play porn star and forced her to lock herself in a bathroom. SO WHAT! So Charlie viciously tortured and murdered several pieces of furniture. SO WHAT! So Denise Richards has to dive for her TV’s off switch when Charlie Sheen’s name comes up on the news around her daughters. SO WHAT! Everybody needs to stick their culitos on an ice pack, because it’s really not that serious. When Extra asked Charlie about his missing $150,000 watch, he had this to say:
“The way I look at it, if you have expensive tastes, you gotta be prepared for expensive losses. If a guy has one bad night everybody goes insane and panics… I’m not panicking.”
“I’m not panicking”? I bet the porn star wishes Charlie would’ve chanted that mantra before he flew into a coke rage and accused her of sticking his watch up her cooch, or whatever. But seriously, Charlie has it all wrong. It wasn’t a bad night for him, it was a good night! I mean, it’s not like the cops found a dead goat, a random severed hand, and a family of refugees making meth on a hot plate in the closet. Wait, did anybody check the closet?