On last night’s Real Housewives of Atlanta, I learned that Phaedra, the proper Southern pug who puts on her make-up with an aerosol can, has really perfected the art of telling ridiculous lies to a bitch’s face when she told the other ladies that her doctor is going to induce labor at 7 months! No, Phaedra’s baby isn’t in danger or anything. Bitch is obviously 9-months knocked up, but she doesn’t want anybody to know that she made a baby with her rent-to-own trick before he put a ring on her finger. But the “HEFFA PLEASE” eyes NeNe throws at Phaedra are worth the price of admission, so I hope she keeps the charade up.
I also learned a new phrase from Lawrence: “Grown lady bills.” And lastly, I learned that even the hardest music producer and sound engineer who has heard everything cannot contain their side-eyes when Kim Zolciak opens her mouth SANS EFFECTS. In the clip above, Kim tries to sing the new song Kandi wrote for her ass, and honestly it sounded more like some shit you’d hear on Planet Earth. Kim trying to reach for high notes is like Tommy Girl trying to reach for something on the top shelf. It’s not going to happen so sit down and let the grown-ups handle it. I swear, when Kim started warbling, a group of walruses appeared at Kandi’s front door thinking they found their new mate.