The Recession Is Real: Joan Collins Shops At Target

November 5, 2010 / Posted by:

Above is Joan Collins wearing a puffy shouldered jacket (puffed up with the hot air of jealousy her arch rivals blow out when she stomps by looking devastatingly gorgeous) on November 3rd in Beverly Hills, July 27th in St. Tropez and June 17th at Ascot. The same jacket, THREE TIMES! That’s some ammunition Krystle Carrington is going to shove into the bullet chamber of her silver lady pistol.

Joan Collins is barred by SAG from playing non-wealthy characters because it’s just TOO unbelievable, but even she has felt the economy pinch her where it’s not right.

The grand dame of luxurious luxury even admitted that never wears her finest jewels during the daytime. Joan sticks with fraudulent gems she buys at TARGET! Joan cooed this out to The View wannabes on The Talk the other day:

“I like to wear things that aren’t real during the day. I don’t believe in going round with lots of jewelery because you never know someone could come and grab it. A friend of ours in England, one of the richest men in England I read in the papers today, John Caudwell, was just tied up and robbed because, you know, his wife goes around dripping with jewels. You can’t do that.”

Julie Chen’s ass shouted at her, “Yes, shop at Target.”

Back to Joan, “Target, yes exactly. I was there yesterday! Although you would never have recognized me.”

And the ambassador of glamour also said that a Botox needle has never made wet love to her forehead before:

“I hate needles and don’t like the idea of putting poison into my face and I’ve seen too many women who have had plastic surgery and facelifts and they look horrible.”

No comment about that, but back to the Target thing. Imagining Joan glide past the lubricant aisle while holding a red basket like it’s a Birkin bag is almost better than the time my cousin asked an employee at Target if she could take an unopened box of Tampax into the bathroom because she really really really needed one at the time. Bitch promised to pay for it afterward. Dude had to go ask his manager, but he never came back. You know he ripped off that red shirt and shouted “I QUIT THIS EVERYTHING” as he walked to his car.

via Daily Mail

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