Ashley Greene Is Always To Blame!

November 3, 2010 / Posted by:

As your ass already knows, one of Mickey Mouse’s prized pieces 18-year-old Demi Lovatooooooo is in a treatment center to deal with “emotional and physical issues.” This we know. Some others things we know is that there’s a dozen blind items that suggest the inside of Demi’s nose looks like the Snow Miser’s lair and that she might be a cutter and that she was bullied in a bad way in school. Well, a source tells E! News that the latter two are among the issues she’s trying to work out in treatment.

Demi has openly talked about how she left junior high school to be home schooled, because a group of bullies kept shitting all over her life. The source says this is what led to Demi cutting herself. And if this isn’t after school special enough for you, the source also added that Demi suffers from bulimia.

Demi was sort of able to hold everything together with an extra-thin rubber band, but apparently that shit ripped apart at an airport in Peru this past Saturday. Demi was in the middle of the South American leg of her tour with the Jonas Bros. when she delivered a meltdown worthy of a very special episode of Full House. Demi got into it with a back-up dancer and then she went after Joe Jonas’ newest beard Ashley Greene. A source explains, “She just lost it right at the airport in front of everyone. The [Jonases’] dad basically said right there, ‘That’s it. You’re going home.’

That Ashley Greene is totally that popular cunt from hell in junior high school who came up to me and asked what I was wearing to the winter dance since she didn’t want to show up in the same dress as me. Fucking bitch. The sad part is, I actually laughed and wanted to give her a slow cap for getting me good. But seriously, I knew Ashley was the prickly cunt who broke the Disney ho’s back!

Demi just needs to look into the mirror and tell herself that while she has a pair of thick eyebrows that could moisten a dehydrated Sharpie, her haters got a thirsty brow area that looks like a Chia pet that has been left in the sun too long. And at the end of the day, brows all that matters. This lady gets it.

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