I should’ve seen this coming a mile away like a bad anal breakout. When Miley Cyrus covered Every Rose Has Its Thorn, I figured she would be the one trying to grind on Bret Michaels in the studio, but it was TISH CYRUS instead! Tish was the one who rolled up her Skynyrd t-shirt, swayed her hips and then batted her gigantic anime horse eyes at Bret. And according to UsWeekly and Star Magazine, Bret was all about it, because he grabbed his saddle and said YEE-FUCKING-HAW!
A source tells UsWeekly that Tish’s down low fuck times with Bret is what really singed the tips of Billy Ray’s mullet. When Billy Ray found out that Tish was eating from a feeding bag tied to Bret’s crotch, he immediately filed for divorce. Apparently, Billy Ray also found out that Tish was doing another dude too.
Both Bret and Tish deny that anything went down.
This is some ridiculous shit that the nosy old memaw at the Piggly Wiggly whispers into your ear about the tramp of the trailer park and the mechanic who got caught fucking a Datsun’s gas tank. I love it. But really, this does make sense. Tish is a forever groupie slut whose one goal is to get more old rock star dick than a urinal in the men’s room of a Vh1 casting office. Tish is living out her dreams! And IN THIS ECONOMY, Bret realized that hooking up with Tish isn’t such a bad thing. They can share European weaves and N.Y.C. eyeliner.