Our Lady of Cheetos’ former bodyguard who accused her of belt beating her Cheetolings and trying to woo him onto her sandwich bed by flashing her Frito Lay pie at him is striking a little fear into Daddy Spears and company. This is coming from TMZ anyways. They say that Daddy Spears can’t even stir his Veleeta grits right, because he feels a SHAKE SHAKE SHAKE DOWN coming at them from the bodyguard Fernando Flores.
Fernando filed a lawsuit against Brit Brit for sexual harassment, and apparently he wants to try the case in a civil court. Why does his ass want to do that? Well, so he can slip on his tap dancing shoes and sing out all of Brit Brit’s secrets on the public stage. This has filled Daddy Spears with all kinds of worry, so he’s begging the court to move that shit to probate court where everything said will be kept from the public’s ears. There’s a hearing scheduled at the end of the month.
This Fernando bitch again? Will somebody kindly tap Fernando’s tongue with a giant GET A FUCKING CLUE stick since he obviously doesn’t understand that most of us know everything about Brit Brit. We’ve seen her cunt plug’s string, for fucks sake! We’re way past the “covering our eyes when we walk in on her nekkid” thing. The only thing that could possibly dent Brit Brit’s reputation is if Fernando said that he once witnessed her adding a bag of microwave broccoli to a bowl of Easy Mac and Slim Jims. That’s it.
And honestly, the only part that sucks about this is when Brit Brit hears Daddy Spears whisper the words “shake down”, because it perks her up thinking that Shake ‘N Bake night has been moved up in the week. Poor bitch has to pull off her eatin’ dickey when she finds out that it’s still Doritos meat loaf night.
Here’s a few pictures of Brit Brit buying CDs at Barnes & Nobles yesterday afternoon.