Charlie Sheen Finally Got Around To Filing For Divorce

November 1, 2010 / Posted by:

Charlie Sheen, the star of a rape monster’s favorite show, is adding Brooke Mueller’s name to the list of ex-wives he has to write a child support and alimony check out to every single month. 10 months after Charlie said Merry Christmas to his wife Brooke by her choking her ass out, he has filed for divorce. A straight blast of SHOCK to the eyes, I know. I would say that Charlie can now freely fall into a mattress covered with pussy peddler puss without feeling guilty about it, but he did that shit while he had a wedding ring on so play on… play on…

TMZ says that Charlie and Brooke already worked out all the details of their divorce settlement all the way back in May shortly after they quit each other. According to the documents, Charlie will give Brooke around $757k for dealing with his fuckery for almost 2 years. Brooke has to move all of her shit out of Charlie’s house, but his checking account is filling her checking account with $1 million for her troubles. Grand total so far: $1,757,000 plus

Brooke will have primary custody of their 1-year-old twin boys and Charlie will get to see them every now and again. Charlie will write Brooke a child support check for $55,000 each month. Brooke wants to make sure that her chirruns are living as high as Denise Richards’ chirruns, so she added this little clause: “Under no circumstances shall the child support paid by Charlie for Bob and Max be less than the child support paid by Charlie to Denise Richards for Sam and Lola.”

Lying in the bathroom stall of a T.G.I. Friday’s somewhere, a single tear trickles down White Oprah’s tangerine cheek… White Oprah has always dreamed of the day she can add a clause like that into her divorce settlement. Seriously, White Oprah better snort that line of crushed Adderall off the toilet seat, pick herself up and get to Charlie Sheen’s side ASAP! It’s only a matter of time before Charlie looks into the face of the trick he just did a line of coke off of and realizes that he wants her to be his future ex-wife. It might as well be White Oprah! A match like that is written in the glazed eyes of every West Coast dealer!

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