Afternoon Crumbs

When Joan Rivers became Snooki… And when I realized for real that Snooki truly is the size of an armadillo’s peen – E! Online

The producers of Captain America realize that the only way to sell this shit is to put Chris Evans’ half-nekkidness on display – Lainey Gossip

The Mel Gibson demon has jumped into Charlie Sheen – The Superficial

This is what happens when you wear your long johns (or white leggings in this case) outdoors – Hollywood Tuna

Yigit Pura from Top Chef: Just Desserts is making it way too easy for the horny Photoshoppers out there – Towleroad

Christina Hendricks’ magnificent chichis look weepy-ish – Popoholic

Send the hard criminal to life (or the length of a SpongeBob Squarepants episode) in her room without the possibility of dessert – NYC Barstool Sports

Note to teenagers: Get knocked up, submit your audition tape to MTV and make more than your teachers! – Celebitchy

Blair Waldorf in Marie Claire – The Berry

Charlie Brown raps – OMG Blog

Well, here’s Owen Wilson with his top off if that’s what you want to see today – Popsugar

Meredith Vieira gets Cacaized – Just Jared

Celebrities with candy – Cityrag

Portia de Rossi once weighed less than one of Aretha Franklin’s chichis – ICYDK

Vintage Bruno Mars – Necole Bitchie

Mad Mel is going to be very popular in the chokey – I’m Not Obsessed

Bat Boy got sick of Xtina’s all-you-can-eat coochie buffet – Hollywood Rag

Obviously, a mold of Vinny’s watermelon dick is in Snooki’s bag – Moe Jackson