October 28, 2010 / Posted by:

Ignore the lipstick. Doji just has it out to write “HELP ME” on the gas station bathroom mirror later. So, there’s a happy ending (sort of) to the Incarceration of Doji Saga. The quacked out Quaids’ dog Doji was forced to do the perp crawl to the animal shelter in Vancouver this past weekend when his owners were busted for sneaking into Canada. Doji’s fate was thrown up into the air, because the Quaids didn’t know when they would be able to bail him out. But right after Randy and Evi Quaid were released from an immigration detention center yesterday afternoon, they made their way to the animal shelter to free Doji! They’re all together again (“FML” – Doji to himself)!!!!

As for the Quaids, Canada’s Border Service Agency was able to confirm that Evi is a citizen of their fair country because her father is Canadian. She’s one of you, CANADA! Evi’s cage door was opened. Randy was also released after he posted $10,000 bail.

The Quaids are expected to beg for refugee status in a hearing today. They still believe that the whackers of Hollywood are after them. Canada will decide whether or not they are going to deport those crazy bitches back to the US to faces vandalism charges in Santa Barbara.

Randy told reporters outside of the animal shelter that he’s hoping to start a new life in Canadaland!

“I come to Canada and the people have always embraced me warmly here. I have always enjoyed coming here. It’s not a question of either or. I like this place. I like that place. I just want a place where I can work and enjoy my life and not feel that someone is always following me around and trying to steal from me.

I have nothing against my beloved America. I love my country and have been very, very happy there.”

I know I should joke about how Doji is going to make his escape by freezing fear into Randy and Evi when he disguises himself as a “Hollywood whacker,” but I bet they really love him so. One of the craziest crazies I’ve ever known treated his dog like it was a unicorn prince. Dude used to taste his dog’s food to make sure it wasn’t spoiled or anything. And he regularly canceled plans with me, because he felt his dog wanted him to stay home. No, I’m not talking about myself….. But that Paul Newman dog food doesn’t taste that awful.

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