Charlie Sheen Did Not Terrorize A Call Girl, He Terrorized A Porn Star

October 28, 2010 / Posted by:

The naked trick who locked herself in a bathroom out of fear that Charlie Sheen would bring harm upon her by making her watch a full episode of Two and a Half Men has been IDed as 22-year-old fuck film star Capri Anderson (government name: Christina Walsh).

Capri is not only known as the latest piece who has stared into Charlie’s engorged coke eyes, but now she’s known as the porn star who has starred in some of the most boringly named movies ever (examples: Damn She’s A Lesbian, Until There Was You, Meow, Girlz Town, and Matt’s Models 11). Well, now that she’s linked to Charlie Sheen she can dazzle up her resume a bit by starring in movies called Twelve and a Half Inches, Hot Shots! Part Doo Doo (do not ask what that one’s about), Sugarwall Street, Eight Men In, Peentoon, etc…

TMZ says that Capri and Charlie met for the first time on Monday night for dinner with a bunch other people at Daniel. Denise Richards stopped by for a quick second but the flaming foolery blasting from the table was too much for her to deal with so she jumped onto the evacuation slide and went back to The Plaza. Flash forward to Charlie’s freakout…

Capri told police that Charlie didn’t accuse her of stealing his wallet as has been reported, he thought she took one of his expensive watches. Even though Capri denied snatching his watch (cut to her snatch spitting out his watch hours later as Capri cackles), Charlie still went on a rampage. Capri’s story is that she didn’t take anything belonging to Charlie. Capri is also telling friends that Charlie never paid her to get nekkid ass nekkid and she doesn’t appreciate that she’s been painted as a leased whore.

Wait. So Capri wants people to know that she was willing to suck on Charlie’s soft serve cokey cock for FREE?! Like, no dinero exchanged? Since Charlie was allegedly coked up like Parasite Hilton’s pussy, it might have taken Capri hours upon hours to get Charlie’s peen semi awake. And she was going to do that without him passing her a white envelope across the dresser?! I can’t look at you anymore, Capri!

Just when I was about to give her the nickname CAPRI SUN, the bitch puts a dark cloud over all us whores. I wouldn’t care if the police threw me in the hooker pen for committing acts of prostitution whoring. Sitting on the concrete floor in a cold cell is better than admitting to giving Charlie Sheen an on-the-house-fuck.

There’s more pictures of Capri (NSFW) at her website. Do not click if you’re going to have Quaker’s Strawberries & Cream Instant Oatmeal for breakfast.

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