As we all fall off the tightrope in slow motion….. Star Magazine brings us the news that Kim Zolciak of The Real Housewrecks of Atlanta might have a new BABY!!! in her house to fetch her a glass of zinfandel and nod when she asks if you can see her check cashing place in that dress. DJ Tracy Young, Kim’s ex merkin fluffer, tell Star that Kim’s got a little something baking in her womb.
And the fetus wasn’t made with one of Big Poppa’s platinum-coated sperm fishies. The man responsible for this foolery is reportedly pro football player Kroy Biermann who happens to be Kim’s current boyfriend. Kroy is probably slapping at his nutsacks while thinking to himself, “Why wasn’t my jizz tardy for the party?!” That’s a question we’re all asking ourselves today.
DJ Tracy went on to tell Star that Kim summoned her back to Atlanta to get back together and raise the baby together as a family, “She said she still loved me and wanted to tell me something important face to face. When I asked her what she was going to do, she said, ‘I want you to stay and raise the baby with me, because Kroy doesn’t want to be involved.'”
DJ Tracy was all ready to move to Atlanta to become the Section 8 version of Melissa Etheridge & Tammy Lynn Michaels, but Kim dropped her on her cooch once again when Kroy came back.
I guess since Beyonce doesn’t have a baby occupying space her in Womb of Dereon, the gods have chosen Kim Zolciak to bring us a slobberer who wears leopard catsuits and bedazzled bonnets with a wig attached. But I’m not going to believe this until I see Kim waddling around with a baby bakin’ wig on top of her head. You know, it’s the wig with the roots and the natural curl. Kim is real like that.