What Screaming Nekkid Hooker? What Trashed Hotel Room?

October 27, 2010 / Posted by:

Charlie Sheen stuffed half of White Oprah’s night time stash up his nostrils, drank a Hoff load of the sweet nectar, brutally murdered a crystal chandelier and forced a nekkid ass nekkid call girl to lock herself in the bathroom out of sheer fear, but yet he’s simply brushing the crusted vomit flakes off his chest and going back to life like none of that happened. People reports that Carlos Estevez is back in Los Angeles to shoot a cameo in a friend’s movie on Friday before he takes his ass back to earn the Two and a Half Men set next week. Meanwhile, the craziest thing Jon Cryer has ever done is use cinnamon toothpaste that one time instead of mint and yet he’ll never ever collect a bigger paycheck than Charlie Sheen. Being Charlie Sheen is fun!!! Being Charlie Sheen’s liver, not so fun.

TMZ adds that even though Charlie has been in and out of Promises in Malibu during the past few months, he has no plans to return for more treatment. Apparently, people around Charlie are like “Um, I think I see the Grim Reaper sashaying up behind you” but that hasn’t slowed him down and he just wants to move past the whole “screaming hooker in the bathroom” thing.

As for Denise Richards, she’s been making the rounds promoting some show and she isn’t say much about her ex-husband busting into a cokey-sponsored tornado of rage right across the hall from her daughters. On Joy Behar’s show last night, the former cyborg pussy peddler basically only said, “I do know what happened and I did help him at the hospital. My daughters are five and six years old. They’re at an age where they can start to understand. They have no idea what went on.”

Charlie Sheen can turn whatever is left of his brains into overcooked Malt-O-Meal and trash a fancy hotel room on a Tuesday, and then he can non-nonchalantly skip into his job and collect a $1.6 million pay check the next week. And the only thing he’ll get from his co-workers is a slightly awkward “Well, at least they didn’t find a dead hooker” side-eye. Why hasn’t White Oprah shown up to the Two and a Half Men set in a wedding dress to propose marriage to Charlie?!

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