Charlie Sheen’s life is just a leased Mercedes that keeps crashing into a ditch over and over again. It gets pulled out, dusted off and then it goes careening down the hill again. Well, Charlie’s latest crash happened early this morning at The Plaza Hotel in NYC. The police were called after Charlie trashed his hotel suite in a drunken rage. Sources say that Charlie accused an unidentified woman (aka a premium pussy peddler) of stealing his wallet. Charlie is in town for a family trip with his ex-wife Denise Richards. Yeah, some hos like to end a day with the family by sucking on a bong filled with whatever in a Calgon bath, but Charlie likes to end it by snorting a speedball off a whore’s labia before beating up a chandelier.
The New York Post says that the police found Charlie fucked up in more ways than one, so they took him to the nearest hospital. Denise Richards went with him, because if anybody’s an expert at johns gone wild, she is.
But the plot thickens like the vomit rising from a call girl’s froat when she finds out she has to fuck on Charlie Sheen. A different source tells Life & Style that when police walked into the suite, Charlie was passed out on the bed and the hooker was locked inside of a closet screaming her clit off. The source painted this lovely picture, “She was fearing for her life and was naked. Charlie was incoherent but started screaming slurs at the cops. They recognized him immediately and gave him two options: they could take him to the hospital or take him down to the station. Charlie chose the hospital.”
TMZ is hearing that Charlie was hospitalized with a serious case of the drunks, but others are saying that the bitch OD’ed.
Locking a nekkid call girl in the closet? This cunt plug really knows how to throw a party. You know, I would say that Charlie is getting too old for this shit, but he’s never going to be too old for this shit. In 30 years, The New York Post will have a story about how Charlie was found passed out on his walker with an IV drip full of vodka in his arm and a paid piece from the Hos 4 Olds Agency locked in his nursing home toilet room.
UPDATE: Charlie’s rep has a good one for you. His rep took to the mic at amateur night and said that Charlie merely had “an allergic reaction to some medication” and will be released from the hospital tomorrow. Always blaming the dealer. The dealer must have cut his shit with the wrong stuff which made him beat up a chandelier and lock a call girl in the closet. The surgeon general should put that warning on every 8-ball.