This beautiful portrait of Mel Gibson reminds me of a metallic coin purse lying against a chain link fence I came across while walking around my neighborhood the other day. It probably fell out of a broke off and dozed off girl’s purse after she tripped on a sidewalk crack while doing the walk of shame. It look like it had been through some shit. It had been rained on, pissed on by several drunk douchebags and probably nibbled at by a cross-eyed rat who mistook it for a greasy piece of pizza. But it still sparkled a bit, so the kitten in me who gets hypnotized by all things shiny almost picked it up. But I digress! This post is not about the tortured piece of metallic leather on Mad Mel’s face, this is about Mad Mel being mad. When a story about Mad Mel being mad gets published, a dreidel does an extra twirl.
Page Six says that Mel isn’t exactly making smiles about getting fired from the sequel to The Hangover. Mel’s cameo went to Liam Neeson after Zach Galifianakis and others put their fists in the air about working with the glum cunt. A source close to Mel said, “He doesn’t understand why Mike Tyson, a drug user who turned his life around, was given a chance while Mel was kicked to the curb. Everybody deserves a second chance.”
It has been said a dozen times before, but many think that Mike Tyson paid his debt to society by kissing on pigeons and behaving for a while. But some of our ear holes are still raw and chapped from getting fucked by Mad Mel’s voice repeatedly. It’s too soon. But I don’t think that’s why Zach wanted Mel fired. No. He obviously just really wants to get a ragey “BLOW ME BEFORE JACUZZI” voicemail from Mel. It’s at the top of everyone’s Christmas list this year, so who can blame Zach.