Joan Collins Doesn’t Do Apologies, Dahling

Joan Collins sent every Hollywood actress scurrying into their mole holes after she said that most of them can’t even hold a candle to one of Ava Gardner’s boogers. The wicked witch of glamour also dismissed Jennifer Aniston with a wave of the hand by saying that she’s no beauty. Jennifer Aniston’s rep said that she would not comment on such nonsense (Translation: Bitch can’t physically comment at this time since she’s choking on her own tears from being dismissed by Joan Collins).

At the Carousel of Hope Ball on Saturday night, UsWeekly asked Joan about her “Angelina Jolie is gorgeous, but Jennifer Aniston is not” comment. Joan straightened her wig, reapplied her lipstick and cooed:

“The bottom line is that I talked about several actresses, among them Catherine Zeta-Jones, Scarlett Johansson and Megan Fox. Unfortunately, everybody got cut out [except Aniston and Jolie]. Typical. That’s the way it goes.”

And the bottom of the bottom line is that Jennifer Aniston, Angie Jo, ScarJo, CZJ and Megan Fox should all get in line to kiss the diamond on Joan Collins’ finger for the mere fact that their names jumped off of her 24 karat kunt tongue. That is like getting knighted by the queen! Better!