Lacefront concealer, Merle Norman lipstick in every shade, white feathers plucked from a marabou’s taint in heaven, breasts swathed in vanilla lamé… These are normally things you see during an episode of Toddlers & Tiaras, but there wasn’t one bratty child beauty queen on the carpet at last night’s Carousel Of Hope Ball (More like Carousel Of GLAMOUR Ball) in Beverly Hills. Only full grown goddesses allowed!
From Brandy & Rachel Welch’s lacefront battle royale to Joan Van Ark’s lips which remind me of the steak fat I chewed on for at least 25 minutes last night to EVERYTHING about the true phoenix (sorry, Kanye) Lois Aldrin, this is glamour at its finest. This almost as glamorous as the time I watched 3 drunk girls in the shortest dresses ever share a Big Mac on the curb at 4am. Almost.
Put on your finest jooree from Claire’s and twirl down the hall of beauties with: Moon goddess Lois Aldrin with Buzz, Joan Van Ark, Halle Berry with Olivier Martinez, Susan Lucci, Joan Collins, Jane Fonda, Donna Mills, Raquel Welch & Brandy with that Maksim douche.