This picture of Howard the Fuck-Up and a creeping Michael Lohan taken right before Judge Fox sentenced her to rehab instead of jail makes me feel like I’m staring into a wet bathroom mirror and looking at TWO BLOOD MARYS. Stop flushing the goddamn toilet!
So yeah, Judge Elden Fox has once again caused Lady Justice to take her shit down to the nearest bar to cry into a White Russian, because he didn’t send LiLo to jail for violating her probation again by failing two drug tests. Instead, LiLo must go back to Betty Ford and stay there until January 3, 2011. The judge didn’t want LiLo to face temptations like a good old fashioned Lohan family Christmas bump or a New Year’s Eve toast with an Adderall-tini, so he’s keeping here there until the holidays are over.
Her next court hearing has been scheduled for February 25th and she’ll undergo random drug testing after she gets out of rehab.
LiLo apparently started crying and said “thank you” after the judge gently slapped her on the hand. You know who else was crying? White Oprah? And not for the reasons you think. LiLo not going back to jail means no new mug shot which means no 2011 calendar. Way to bash White Oprah’s dreams, Judge Fox!