Russell Simmons Thinks Courtney Love Is A Sweet Crackhead

October 22, 2010 / Posted by:

Russell Simmons and Courtney Love are supposedly friends. You know, he OMs OMs OMs into the sky on a yoga mat while kissing the sun with his spirit animal (or whatever) and Courtney sits in the corner having a serious conversation with a hallowed Buddha statue about how she believes aliens abducted her real daughter and replaced her with an impostor (yes, Court thinks Invasion of the Body Snatchers is a documentary).

Even though Russell and Courtney have no problem touching nipples when they kiss on both cheeks in public, he still thinks the inside of her head looks like the community vom bin in a crack house. When Page Six asked Russell what he thought about Court Tweeting her crime scene nekkidness, he said:

“I think she is a sweet girl . . . It’s probably exciting to be a crackhead, I wouldn’t say I was a crackhead but I did smoke a lot of crack. I had fun smoking a lot of angel dust . . . Right now I’m a monk. I’m boring, I’m on a green juice fast at this moment so I’m a little high now. I had a double shot of ginger, which makes you a little flighty.”

Now we have an explanation for Russell’s marriage to Kimora.

And when Page Six told Courtney about what Russell said, she responded with:

“I’m fairly insulted that he associates me with that drug. What does that mean?”

It means you always act like a fucking crackhead. Damn. It’s like we have to spell it out for her in crack smoke signals.

I love it on Cops when the officer tells the crackhead that they are acting kind of high and the crackhead says something like, “What do you mean I’m acting high? What do you mean I have the shakes? What do you mean my breath smells like death farted on my tonsils? What do you mean? What do you mean?” One of the first signs that you’re dealing with a crackhead is a severe case of defensiveness.

But in all seriousness, Court has every right to feel insulted about being associated with that drug. Crack is whack. Now if Russell called her a cokehead or a Lokohead, that would be different.

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