Don’t you remember when you were 17 and you were on stage at Don Hill’s in NYC flashing your censor bars at the crowd? Those were the days, right? Only it wasn’t NYC, it was California. And it wasn’t Don Hill’s, it was in the cheap ass bedroom my mom built in the garage while Gina G blasted on a boombox. And it wasn’t on stage, it was on top of a twin Ikea bed that was all sorts of wonky due to the half-broken wooden slats (I hate those slats). And it wasn’t for a crowd, it was for NOBODY!
What I’m getting at here is that I know that 17-year-old Taylor Momsen is the hardest and edgiest bitch in every game (seriously, she probably even curses during Monopoly), but can’t she wait a year to flash her duct-taped nipples. I mean, Chris Hansen is going to ask everyone to have a collective seat. Save that mess for the privacy of your own garage bedroom…while Gina G blasts from a boombox (the Gina G part is really important).
Here’s a few pictures of Taylor with the blood of a chicken she sacrificed (aka Wet ‘N Wild lipstick) smeared all over her eyes at a Paper Magazine party at Don Hill’s last night. FYI: Hollywood Life threw a censor bar over her chest, but apparently she was wearing pasties.