Tina Knowles, the evil queen-faced matriarch of The House of Derriere empire (insert hand over mouth snicker here), slithered away from her post at the top of the basement stairs to comment on the rumors that her daughter is currently carrying the heir to the royal weave. Instead of issuing a simple “step off my bitch’s uterus” statement to the media, Tina had to do the honors on national TV.
I swear. White Oprah trying to get on The Robin Byrd Show (nobody else will answer her texts) to once again deny everything doesn’t seem like a “Bitch, are you serious?” move after all. This is what Tina had to say on The Ellen Degeneres Show:
“I’m here to clear the rumors up. The truth is that’s it’s not Beyoncé that’s pregnant. It’s me. I’m kidding y’all. I’m 56. No, no, it’s not true [about Beyoncé]. Not right now. With all the rumors, by now I should have five or six grandchildren.”
Tina probably implanted that rumor in the media’s open womb just so she could go on Ellen to deny that shit and then sneakily segue into announcing House of Derriere’s new line of newborn freakum onesies. Shame. Less.
And here’s Beyonce taking her unoccupied belly for a walk in Miami yesterday.