Shawty Mane Will Bust A Cap In Yo Pampers

Justin Bieber isn’t old enough to operate a water gun (check the age recommendation on the box if you don’t believe me) and he’s as threatening as a Maisy Mouse stuffed animal, but that hasn’t stopped him from already choosing the gangsta way of life. You better get on your side of the playground or Shawty Mane is going to fuck you up when the recess warden isn’t looking! You don’t want to end up with a SpongeBob Squarepants Band-Aid over your knees after the Bieb finishes swinging. Or you can just bend down a little bit and put your palm on his forehead so his tiny fists won’t you hit. Yeah, do that.

CBC News brings us this hilarious report out of Richmond, B.C. about 16-year-old Justin Bieber and his posse getting kicked out of a laser tag center after he allegedly smacked a 12-year-old during a game. Toddler on toddler violence is never okay, but this is just HAHAHAHAHAHAHA. The owner of the laser tag center said they put The Lesbeaver and his bodyguards out on curb after the 12-year-old complained.

The Richmond police department’s fetus crime unit is investigating this mess, but Justin’s spokeswhore denies it went down like this. Shawty Mane is still at large so you better stay in your playpens until further notice.

We all know that Justin is the true reincarnation of Biggie Smalls, but he would never ever hit a 12-year-old. The real story is that Shawty Mane ordered his bodyguards to hold the 12-year-old down while he tickled the boy until the poor thing made a tinkle in his Underdoos. That’s how Shawty Mane does it! “Every time you see that pee pee stain, you’re going to be reminded about the time you effed with Shawty Mane!” – Shawty Mane