Trouble In Trash Heap Paradise?

This is Kat Von D last month to People: “Jesse is only my ninth boyfriend. I don’t hang out with anybody unless I am in love.”

Roll eyes, roll back (I would tell you to roll again, but it’s Friday and you shouldn’t exert yourself) and keep going.

And also according to People, this was Kat Von D at Slash’s cocert in L.A. on October 5th: “Von D was seen hanging out in the V.I.P. section with her ex-boyfriend Nikki Sixx. ‘They were on the balcony chatting and ended up disappearing together,’ a source tells PEOPLE. They were acting pretty cozy and chummy.’”

Kat was also seen “flirting” with her ex-fuck piece Bam Margera at a dinner for two at some restaurant in Hollywood.

So of course, this brings up the wooden dollar question: Is Vanilla Gorilla still heil-ing it into Kat Von D’s punane? A different source tells People that Kat is having a hard time dealing with the distance between her and Vanilla Gorilla. Vanilla Gorilla has swung on over to Austin to be closer to his ex-wife Sandra Bullock and her son Louis while Kat stays in L.A. Kat and Vanilla only get to slobber on each other on the weekends and this isn’t working out for her.

But Vanilla Gorilla’s original ex-wife Janine told Radar that he’s probably going to stick a banana in his mouth and swing back to L.A. to be closer to Kat since Sandra Bullock would rather do a sequel to All About Steve than reunite with his nasty ass.

Janine said, “He did everything that he could to try and win Sandra Bullock back but it just didn’t wash and now that he has Kat in his life why would he stay in Texas? All of his friends are in California and he was like a fish out of water in Austin which is really Sandra’s town. The sad part is that he made the kids move there and now he will have to bring them all back again. He’s a narcissist and if it means being with Kat Von D and all the publicity that will bring then I’m sure he will go for it.”

I am going to pray before the tube of ointment the free clinic gave me a couple of years ago that Kat Von Douchebag and Vanilla Gorilla make it work. The meaning of LOVE has already been dragged and beaten enough because of the break-ups of Xtina & Bat Boy, Courtney Cox & David Arquette and Laura Dern & Ben Harper. It will never survive this! Aphrodite would quit life and the cherubs would be forced to get full-time jobs as divorce paper process servers.