The Maya Angelou of scorned wives is back with a new poem about how her ex Melissa Etheridge has left her with an empty checking account, hungry mouths, saggy tits, stretch marks and a newfound hate for marriage. This past Saturday, Tammy Lynn Michaels once again poured raw emotion into a blog post dedicated to the heartless villainess who has left her and their 4-year-old twins parched in every way.
Melissa’s lawyers claimed a couple of months ago that Tammy Lynn is playing up the “Please sir, can I have some more” part for melodramatic purposes, because she gets around $2,000 a month in child support. But according to Tammy’s poems, it’s not enough. Here’s a condensed piece of what Tammy wrote (read the whole thing here):
“pays all the bills”
not entirely true
“pays all the bills she chooses to pay”
“pays all the bills her people thinks
are important enough to pay”
is more accurate
when i went to get cash
just last week
for the three of us to eat
today i was shopping for birthday decor
4th next sunday!
little cash for lunch?
nope- not enough funds
what the fuck is marriage all about anyway? i thought i did everything i was supposed to do. support support support. love family, be there, love, right? all for naught or have i still everything to learn about love? and that was nothing? or the letting go of this is THEE LESSON of loving. argh.
someone told me that chemotherapy just messes with a brain chemistry, changes the brain, the person, and makes them just in general different. they might b meaner, or illogical, often imbalanced, or whatever. but they just don’t come out the same. hardly ever, i am told. and they can’t help it. it just is.
and i think about that alot too.
Tammy Lynn really is in a bad way if she doesn’t even have the strength to hit the shift button to make a capital letter. That’s what surviving on relish packets, crab grass and popcorn does to you.
For those of you who are thinking to yourself that Tammy Lynn needs to get out on the stroll to shake her shit for a dollar, she has this to say:
someone asked about getting a job. okay. well.let’s talkaboutthisheregirlfriend…… i have “help” until 2 pm a lot. i can’t tell my bosses that i can work each day until between the hours of 830 and 145. tv hours aren’t like that, waitressing ours aren’t like that sadly…. strippers hours aren’t like that, whores’ hours aren’t like that, secretary hours’ aren’t like that, starbucks’ jobs aren’t like that… crossed my mind this morning to get a paper route, though. that’s a quick job, but i bet a lot has changed since i was 11. but thank goodness i was able to go home that day and eat- not like in haiti where you eat dirt cookies. while i drove, i spit brown stomach bile into my cup, and rinsed with water. then when i got home i simply ate a bagel. it’s not really great for my stomach to sit empty right now. like being pregnant, but no baby inside. but then my friend and i laughed… cuz once i am able to get my twins so set and solid and older, THEN there’s jobs for me, and i’ll be open.
Spit brown stomach bile into a cup?! Paper route?! What in the Feed A Child for 99 Cents A Day HELL?! THIS BITCH is laying it out on so thick that she can probably shove it into the oven, bake for 30 minutes at 350 and then nibble on it for protein.
Why isn’t Sally Struthers on TV begging us to send in a few dollars so Tammy Lynn doesn’t have to eat dirt cookies. I swear. All the children in Ethiopia are at the post office right now to send their rations over to Tammy Lynn.