Oh, I see how you’re going to play this, Ross! I see how you’re going to bop your TV sister’s busted marriage on the head in the life game of Whac-A-Mole. So yeah, 43-year-old David Schwimmer exchanged vows and shit with 25-year-old British photographer Zoe Buckman all the way back in June, but his rep is just getting around to confirming it to Entertainment Weekly.
My guess is that David’s rep sent out the “Yay, They’re Married, Blah Blah Blah” press release back in June, but the cyber pigeon took a wrong turn, got lost and was forced to nibble on some cyber rice for nourishment. As soon as its claw touched Entertainment Weekly’s inbox, it exploded into a million pieces. EW’s team of interns spent weeks piecing together the message and they just finished today. The same day that Courtney Cox announced that her marriage is lying on the table with an IV in its ass. TOTAL COINCIDENCE!
David Schwimmer isn’t driving in his happy marriage wagon with his child bride at his side and laughing as they cross the bridge over the marsh where Courtney Cox’s marriage is about to be devoured a pack of alligators. No, not at all!
But Courtney will be the one laughing in a few months when the divorce force strikes David! Well, they don’t call him Ross, The Divorce Force for nothing.