Lisa Turtle, Zack Morris, AC Slater and Mr. Belding just simultaneously stuck their cell phones in the garbage disposal and turned that shit on, because Screech’s financial situation is once again in the caca can and you know he’s going to hit them up for a loan. TMZ reports that Diamond Diamond’s Den of Dirty Sanchezes is about to be snatched away from him for the third time in just four years. Do you smell that? No, I’m not talking about the rotting scent of your soul slowly dying due to something called the Mondays. I’m talking about the next sex tape that is about to leak out of Screech’s asshole.
Wells Fargo has just begun to dance the foreclosure waltz on the front lawn of Dustin Diamond’s Wisconsin home, because he owes them nearly $279,000 in mortgage payments. Apparently, Dustin hasn’t made a payment since May and so Wells Fargo is coming to collect his house.
Back in 2006, Dustin almost lost his house, so he started selling some stupid t-shirts on his website and later released the worst sex tape ever which featured him smearing his shit butter on some chick’s upper lip. So now that Dustin’s wallet is empty again, you better believe we’re going to get a sequel. And usually, the monsters are scarier and bigger in the sequel.
All of us should just throw a Pamper over our eyes and patiently wait until 2012 swallows us whole, because I don’t ever want to see Screech’s POOP NOODLE in 3D.