Fishsticks Paltrow Turned Down The Casting Couch

October 8, 2010 / Posted by:

Even Hollywood daughters of privilege whose godfather is one of the most famous directors in the world is invited to spread her cooch on the casting couch. Long before Fishsticks Paltrow won an Oscar (EMILY WATSON WAS ROBBED!!!!!) for Shakenspeare in Lurve, she pounded the pavement like any other actress and says that one time some dude wanted to pound her in exchange for a role. Fishy queefs to Elle:

“When I was just starting out, someone suggested that we finish a meeting in the bedroom. I left. I was pretty shocked. I could see how someone who didn’t know better might worry, ‘My career will be ruined if I don’t give this guy a blow job!'”

Fishy needs to stop. Like she didn’t pull out the “Um…My Daddy Produced St. Elsewhere And My Mommy Is Blythe Fucking Danner” card when the asshole tried to jump into her fish tank.

Fishy, he wasn’t trying to stick his dick in your gills or jizz on your fins, he just wanted to get your opinion on the way he decorated his bedroom. He somehow knew that you were an expert at 10,000-thread count sheets imported from the Himalayas, Feng Shui, and how to get your room to smell like an air of self-importance. That’s all!

Fishy also says that it’s still really hard out there for actresses her age:

“There’s a lot that’s okay, but there’s little that’s really good, especially for someone my age. Sometimes you find out that something you really liked is going to someone 10 years younger. I find it heartening that Meryl Streep and Sandra Bullock have been able to find and create amazing projects.”

I knew her cunt tongue would strike again soon. YES! Cuntranslation: what she really means by “Meryl Streep and Sandra Bullock” is “old crusty bitches“.

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