We’re All Getting Punk’d

October 5, 2010 / Posted by:

MTV is pulling Punk’d out of its trucker hat-shaped coffin and is trying to give it life again using a drop of mystical oil from Justin Bieber’s golden follicle of eternal of miracles. Vulture reports that MTV is summoning a swarm of locusts by rebooting Punk’d with The Lesbeaver as the show’s new host. Please tell me this is just Ashton Kutcher’s evil way of getting all of us to admit that we miss him on TV. UNCLE!!!!!

Sources say that Ashton will stay on as executive producer, but will leave the on-camera shit to Justin. Justin hasn’t signed on the dotted line just yet, because unfortunately he hasn’t learned how to sign his name yet. No, apparently the deal will become official any day now.

This is definitely going to end with somebody in jail. Imagine you’re staring at a pile of hot caca (it’s actually mashed Big Macs patties) on the seat of your Maserati and the valet (aka a day player) is apologizing over and over again for accidentally sharting in your car. And as the rage travels to your punchin’ hand and you start to make a first, Justin Bieber pops out and screams, “BOOM! BAM! You’ve just been Punk’d!” So you’re already making a fist and there’s Justin Bieber’s face right in front of you.

Yeah, MTV should really rename the show Punch’d!

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